You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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