If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
