you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
