Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
