So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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