Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
