I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize