No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
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