the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
