I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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