six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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