Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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