And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
