grandma shit on top of the toilet
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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