...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
