somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
