Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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