I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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