We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize