Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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