Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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