from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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