How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
