tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
