you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
