Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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