dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
