sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
