D3 body, D1 cock
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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