do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
