I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
if only i could text you this smell
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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