hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
