dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
no you cant smoke seaweed
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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