I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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