I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
