I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
