I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She needs sedatives and a leash
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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