I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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