that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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