you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
