lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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