Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
