Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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