On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Randomize
