I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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