Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
