Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Drake has all the answers
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
