there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
