So drunk, too bad you don't want this
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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