You're so nebulous sometimes
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize