i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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