I'm really into asian looking animals
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize