too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
