I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Ketchup is God's man juice
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Who died my cat blue again?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
