New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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