i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize