Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
