apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
