kristin has been a bad kristin
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
