Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
